How forget about the what ifs....

Sunday the goal: Budget

Honestly my worst fear and running out of money, and with this new move all the expenses sitting on a credit card waiting to be paid off, no job and loan waiting to be approved. I am more then just a little stressed to say the least.

Being faced with only kraft dinner and ramen in your cupboard you have to face reality that you need food. To buy food you need to have money and it forced me to sit down and budget.

I am sorry but I am used to having some sort of safety net, aren’t we all? I mean the reason some people don’t make moves like these are because of the fear of lack of funds. Being faced with this presenting problem I had to act, sit down figure out how much I would need for rent, and bills for the next two months. My just in case fund- in case the loan get delayed, potential jobs fall through I had to make the money I had left count.

I sat there, heart pounding empty stomach, and though. How much can I live on, how much do I need. I picked up my calculator (iphone app of course) and crunched the numbers. It wasn’t as scary as I thought. If I simple save and only buy what’s necessary I can do this. I transferred my spending money into my chequing account and proceeded to the store. My heart raced, I walked through the park and breathed and grounded myself. I can do this, why do I have the need to starve but have money in my bank just in case. I would rather be unhealthy and unhappy but save money for a rainy day. It was then I swallowed all the butterflies in my gut and decided: TODAY I was going to buy food! I wasn’t going to buy kd and ramen and soup… I wasn’t going to starve myself. I walked in and painfully spent 50$ which is more then I thought possible. I bought things to make meals and prepared myself for the upcoming week. I walked out and felt proud that I was going to get this job on Monday and if not my loan will come. I will continue to hand our resumes if I have to. I am not going to starve to be safe.

That was my main fear… NO money… I tackled that.. Seems simple to you who have steady income… but this is scary and new for me… Isn’t it always hard to live on the edge, to live without a safety net! To not save for that rainy day. Its always scary when you have nothing to fall back on. But it always makes you work harder.