I was afraid he didnt want me.. like it was my fault
Like somehow our only relationship needed to contain steamy sex in order to continue..
FEAR BASED THINKING!
I stopped n realized.. OK i can sit here n play and his tablet and he can work on his wax sculpture and talk and were ok.
He taught me ninja moves and how to fight and how to react to being attacked.
We watched some funny british TV
I learned how to sketch on a tablet.
I learned why the Rider Waite tarot sucks ass... And no matter how much i love my deck and i think its time to move on..
Probably to Paulina Cassidy's cause i really dont like the Marseille deck he has.
I enjoyed passing out in his bed.
I enjoyed waking up beside him..
Making me eggs...
And I like being around the boy..
Thats ok...
Its ok that we didnt do anything..
that we just relaxed in each others company.
I have not to fear that i am somehow being dependent or clingy.
Or that I NEED his or anyones atention.
To be honest this is all fear based thinking and once i realized that and stepped back from the situation I realized that.
Its ok
Thats all i need to know..
Its ok
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