I slowly realized over the past couple of days I was moving from one dependency to another.
I needed someone there, to make me happy, keep me distracted etc.
Tonight is about the fear of sitting in silence with your own thoughts. About being nothing but who you are... And owning that.
I have been running for so long, it's time I sat in my own silence and found it comfortable. Which it isn't ... It's painful and paranoid and running me underground with all it's negativity. My mind is my own enemy at this point.
How do we gain control of ourselves then: reading another friend of mine's blog has helped me understand everything is in my control. I must focus and meditate on the positive and it will wrap me like a blanket.
So my mantra for this evening is: I did this before her, I can do this after... I am valuable and worthy to be part of the beauty of this life. Tonight I will sit in my silence and sleep these doubts gone. Tomorrow I will wake refreshed and able to make the day whatever I chose.
To another night of freedom.
Ps I will link the referenced blog tomorrow :)
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